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    Question to parents with players done with or in the middle of recruitment process

    My daughter was offered a spot on a team at the end of their ID camp after working through the process of writing the coaches followed by they seeing her play and then an invitation through the coach. I have not personally met the man nor spoken to him and there was no opportunity to do so at the end of the camp.

    My daughter states he and his assistant are very nice as were the current players present at the camp. By all account from our club, I hear that is accurate. The part that I am now faced with is that he discussed financial aspects with my 16 year kid in a somewhat broad picture.

    At what point is it reasonable to get involved in this discussion directly since we are talking about money, a college choice and what "pretty much covers everything" really means.

    I have tried to educate myself but the on line articles vary greatly and I certainly don't want to impede on my kids opportunity. Even the advice from her current coach and director is somewhat contradictory so, I would like to ask what parents who are going through it now or already have what their experiences are.

    #2
    Have your daughter contact the coach. Give the usual thank you's, etc. Have her explain to the coach that in all of the excitement of receiving the offer, the portion about money got by her. She would feel more comfortable for the coach to speak with one of her parents, since it deals with future family finances.

    If the coach is as nice as you describe, it should not be an issue. This cannot be the first time the conversation has been requested. And he must be painfully aware that speaking to a teenager about money is equivalent to nuclear fusion. Besides, a minor cannot enter into any contract, so you must legally be involved in any decision regarding money.

    Congrats to your daughter and good luck!

    Comment


      #3
      Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
      My daughter was offered a spot on a team at the end of their ID camp after working through the process of writing the coaches followed by they seeing her play and then an invitation through the coach. I have not personally met the man nor spoken to him and there was no opportunity to do so at the end of the camp.

      My daughter states he and his assistant are very nice as were the current players present at the camp. By all account from our club, I hear that is accurate. The part that I am now faced with is that he discussed financial aspects with my 16 year kid in a somewhat broad picture.

      At what point is it reasonable to get involved in this discussion directly since we are talking about money, a college choice and what "pretty much covers everything" really means.

      I have tried to educate myself but the on line articles vary greatly and I certainly don't want to impede on my kids opportunity. Even the advice from her current coach and director is somewhat contradictory so, I would like to ask what parents who are going through it now or already have what their experiences are.
      Your daughter should be the only point of contact during the recruitment process, coaches do not want to hear from parents they want to see what your kid is like and is it someone they want on their team. As soon as any talk of money/scholarship begins, that is when you as a parent need to get involved as it becomes a negotiation. My D was very independent and spoke with all coaches during the process, I as a father only got involved at the very end. I wanted to meet the man that would be coaching my daughter for the next 4 years and at that point I spoke directly with the coach, but it was only about the offer and money, never about anything soccer related. Hope that helps.

      Comment


        #4
        Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
        Your daughter should be the only point of contact during the recruitment process, coaches do not want to hear from parents they want to see what your kid is like and is it someone they want on their team. As soon as any talk of money/scholarship begins, that is when you as a parent need to get involved as it becomes a negotiation. My D was very independent and spoke with all coaches during the process, I as a father only got involved at the very end. I wanted to meet the man that would be coaching my daughter for the next 4 years and at that point I spoke directly with the coach, but it was only about the offer and money, never about anything soccer related. Hope that helps.
        Agree with the two posts - stay out until the offer is in hand. At that point it's reasonable to get involved and coaches are accustomed to it.

        If she hasn't visited the school yet she should - obviously it was a school she is interested in but being on campus, especially when school is in session, gives you a more compete picture than websites and doing an ID event in the summer. Have her ask if she can visit and do an overnight with a player or at least shadow classes with one for a day. Not only is the academic fit the most critical part of it all but it's good for her to spend time with a few players and make sure she likes them (my son axed a school once he saw the team was filled with neanderthals). Coaches are usually happy to set that up because they want you to be 100% sure. When you drop her off or pick her up you can introduce yourself to the coach and get a quick read of the guy yourself. If you are applying for financial aid it's a good time to meet the people in that office as well.

        Comment


          #5
          Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
          Agree with the two posts - stay out until the offer is in hand. At that point it's reasonable to get involved and coaches are accustomed to it.

          If she hasn't visited the school yet she should - obviously it was a school she is interested in but being on campus, especially when school is in session, gives you a more compete picture than websites and doing an ID event in the summer. Have her ask if she can visit and do an overnight with a player or at least shadow classes with one for a day. Not only is the academic fit the most critical part of it all but it's good for her to spend time with a few players and make sure she likes them (my son axed a school once he saw the team was filled with neanderthals). Coaches are usually happy to set that up because they want you to be 100% sure. When you drop her off or pick her up you can introduce yourself to the coach and get a quick read of the guy yourself. If you are applying for financial aid it's a good time to meet the people in that office as well.

          Thank you all. I appreciate the time and thought put into your responses. From the comments, I guess I failed to included all the pertinent information. My apologies.

          The basic school tour occurred during the summer ID camp and she just received an email from the coach asking recruits to stay and train with the team, watch a game and meet with the coach. I guess that is what is driving much of my question as she did not verbally accept at the camp.

          Is this the typical process?
          Is the coach meeting meant to be the opportunity for the parents to meet the coach as well?
          Is a commitment expected then and there from the players or do they typically get some time?
          Do coaches get ticked off if a kid needs more time?

          As the previous poster mentioned, I have no plans to meddle but I don't want my kid to get all star eyed and emotionally invested either, since she has not visited all the schools on her list yet.

          Again, your inputs are appreciated.

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
            Thank you all. I appreciate the time and thought put into your responses. From the comments, I guess I failed to included all the pertinent information. My apologies.

            The basic school tour occurred during the summer ID camp and she just received an email from the coach asking recruits to stay and train with the team, watch a game and meet with the coach. I guess that is what is driving much of my question as she did not verbally accept at the camp.

            Is this the typical process?
            Is the coach meeting meant to be the opportunity for the parents to meet the coach as well?
            Is a commitment expected then and there from the players or do they typically get some time?
            Do coaches get ticked off if a kid needs more time?

            As the previous poster mentioned, I have no plans to meddle but I don't want my kid to get all star eyed and emotionally invested either, since she has not visited all the schools on her list yet.

            Again, your inputs are appreciated.
            It's not unreasonable to ask for a few weeks to decide, but not much more than that. Coaches need to know yes or no so they can move on to the next player if need be. If they push back and want a decision quickly without much reasoning that is troublesome. It's a BIG decision and shouldn't be done in a rush. She should immediately call the coach, thank him for the camp and the offer and could she have a few weeks to decide? Can she come visit again? (I agree you should try to visit while school is in session as a campus can feel very different vs the peace and quiet of summer). Maybe she can watch a practice or a game. The more you know the better you feel about the decision.

            Comment

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