GPS Oregon = 💀?

[Unregistered]

Sorry, we disagree. We're talking about humans, and humans behave passionately, in the moment. What you are describing is a robot that should follow the letter of the law. You and I both know that doesn't occur in the real world. "Bad behavior" is in the eye of the beholder.

It's ok to disagree. And it's obvious now that you were not in attendance, so your opinion is subjective at best on this situation.

Ok, so I'll repeat my challenge to you. Send your kid off to learn to become a referee. Or do it yourself. Officiate at some games, or watch her officiate, and then get back to us and let us know when a mistake by you or your kid justifies a "passionate" response "in an aggressive manner."

[Unregistered]

Here is some context on this "justified aggression" argument:

Youth referees across the nation are packing up their whistles and going home in response to increased instances of verbal and even physical abuse from volatile parents and coaches.

The shrinking pool of officials has become a national crisis that threatens to alter the landscape of youth sports as leagues scramble to find enough referees to hold games.

Eighty percent of high school officials are quitting before their third year, according to the National Federation of State High School Associations, which launched a national recruitment effort last year to attract more officials. Link: https://www.today.com/parents/youth-...arents-t126087

Or this:

"As the column points out, the parents of high school student-athletes in our state are not only causing a stir, they also are causing a problem," WIAA director of communications Todd Clark said. "We have a shortage of licensed high school officials in Wisconsin. Not only are experienced officials retiring, but younger officials are quitting. Why? Because of parental abuse." Link: https://www.jsonline.com/story/sport...ol/2524999002/

Or this:
Verbal abuse, low pay and long hours are driving high school sports officials off fields and disrupting athletic schedules.

Participation in interscholastic sports has increased for the past three decades, but a lack of officials has led to game cancellations and some schools even dropping certain sports, says Barry Mano, president of the National Association of Sports Officials (NASO). Link: https://districtadministration.com/r...school-sports/

Or this a little closer to home:

High school sports are an integral part of communities in Central Oregon and around the state. While the number of high schools — and sports teams — continues to grow, the number of available officials is shrinking at an alarming rate. Many administrators say it is because of worsening sportsmanship among fans, coaches and players, along with an aging roster of officials across multiple sports.

In the past eight years, football experienced a 21 percent drop in officials, according to data provided by the Oregon School Activities Association.

Basketball is down 25 percent, while baseball and softball are down about 22 and 26 percent, respectively. Wrestling underwent the sharpest decline — 30 percent.

Overall, according to the OSAA, the number of high school officials in Oregon has gone from 4,412 in the 2010-11 school year to 3,495 in 2017-18, an 18 percent drop. Link: https://www.bendbulletin.com/sports/...ating-shortage

I could post a dozen more links. Bottom line is this. Those defending the coach and excusing/justifying the behavior are the reason for the problem. The other reason? A club that doesn't have a set policy about coach and parent conduct, or doesn't hold coaches to that policy. I know my DD's club would have a huge problem with a coach getting multiple red cards, whatever his lame excuse du jour.

[Unregistered]

Ok, so I'll repeat my challenge to you. Send your kid off to learn to become a referee. Or do it yourself. Officiate at some games, or watch her officiate, and then get back to us and let us know when a mistake by you or your kid justifies a "passionate" response "in an aggressive manner."

Someday, maybe. She's a bit busy at the moment playing the game.

Fwiw, I have umped games (baseball/softball), and if a player was injured during a game because a pitcher purposely threw at him/her, or a player purposely ran into a defenseless player on the base path, and I didn't do anything to that pitcher as an ump (warn them, toss them from the game, etc), I would fully expect a passionate response from a Coach. And likely deserve it.

[Unregistered]

Sorry, we disagree. We're talking about humans, and humans behave passionately, in the moment. What you are describing is a robot that should follow the letter of the law. You and I both know that doesn't occur in the real world. "Bad behavior" is in the eye of the beholder.

It's ok to disagree. And it's obvious now that you were not in attendance, so your opinion is subjective at best on this situation.

Passion and a lack of emotional control are not the same thing

Passion sounds good. Healthy. And it is.

Lack of emotional control is a psychological and maturity issue.
Many coaches are passionate and care deeply for their players. And they don’t get tossed from games.

It’s normal for passion to spill over once in a long while.

Was it passion that got this guy removed from BSC, THUSC, Newberg, etc? No, he wasnt removed because he was “too passionate”. Nobody’s ever been fired for being too passionate about their job.

[Unregistered]

Here is some context on this "justified aggression" argument:

Youth referees across the nation are packing up their whistles and going home in response to increased instances of verbal and even physical abuse from volatile parents and coaches.

The shrinking pool of officials has become a national crisis that threatens to alter the landscape of youth sports as leagues scramble to find enough referees to hold games.

Eighty percent of high school officials are quitting before their third year, according to the National Federation of State High School Associations, which launched a national recruitment effort last year to attract more officials. Link: https://www.today.com/parents/youth-...arents-t126087

Or this:

"As the column points out, the parents of high school student-athletes in our state are not only causing a stir, they also are causing a problem," WIAA director of communications Todd Clark said. "We have a shortage of licensed high school officials in Wisconsin. Not only are experienced officials retiring, but younger officials are quitting. Why? Because of parental abuse." Link: https://www.jsonline.com/story/sport...ol/2524999002/

Or this:
Verbal abuse, low pay and long hours are driving high school sports officials off fields and disrupting athletic schedules.

Participation in interscholastic sports has increased for the past three decades, but a lack of officials has led to game cancellations and some schools even dropping certain sports, says Barry Mano, president of the National Association of Sports Officials (NASO). Link: https://districtadministration.com/r...school-sports/

Or this a little closer to home:

High school sports are an integral part of communities in Central Oregon and around the state. While the number of high schools — and sports teams — continues to grow, the number of available officials is shrinking at an alarming rate. Many administrators say it is because of worsening sportsmanship among fans, coaches and players, along with an aging roster of officials across multiple sports.

In the past eight years, football experienced a 21 percent drop in officials, according to data provided by the Oregon School Activities Association.

Basketball is down 25 percent, while baseball and softball are down about 22 and 26 percent, respectively. Wrestling underwent the sharpest decline — 30 percent.

Overall, according to the OSAA, the number of high school officials in Oregon has gone from 4,412 in the 2010-11 school year to 3,495 in 2017-18, an 18 percent drop. Link: https://www.bendbulletin.com/sports/...ating-shortage

I could post a dozen more links. Bottom line is this. Those defending the coach and excusing/justifying the behavior are the reason for the problem. The other reason? A club that doesn't have a set policy about coach and parent conduct, or doesn't hold coaches to that policy. I know my DD's club would have a huge problem with a coach getting multiple red cards, whatever his lame excuse du jour.

Thanks for sharing, interesting data. I'm not debating the overall treatment of refs, umpires, game officials, etc. by our society. And certainly not justifying it. I'm speaking to a specific incident/type of incident. I've absolutely witnessed poor fans, and "those parents" that complain to the officials all the time, about every stinkin little call made. I frankly think basketball fans/parents are the worst. Although there are a few Vegas soccer teams that have very undesirable parents in tow at their games, that I've personally witnessed.

A systemic problem in our country/society? Probably. Parents spending way too much money on the youth sports industry for their kiddos? Probably a factor as well since that can cloud your judgment on this topic.

If I was to judge MJ on a scale of 1-10, regarding this behavior we are going back/forth about, I'd put him at a 5. I've seen so much worse, and certainly seen better. A quick glance at the boys oysa red card records would suggest the boys side of things is a bigger problem in Oregon, compared to girls. Do they get a pass because they are boys? Do refs have a shorter leash on players/coaches because they are boys? Are the fouls harder in boys games? Not sure.

[Unregistered]

Passion and a lack of emotional control are not the same thing

Passion sounds good. Healthy. And it is.

Lack of emotional control is a psychological and maturity issue.
Many coaches are passionate and care deeply for their players. And they don’t get tossed from games.

It’s normal for passion to spill over once in a long while.

Was it passion that got this guy removed from BSC, THUSC, Newberg, etc? No, he wasnt removed because he was “too passionate”. Nobody’s ever been fired for being too passionate about their job.

I don't have personal knowledge of what happened with THUSC. My personal perspective on the BSC situation was it was political and a difference of philosophy on the direction of the club, at that time. My family and I were lied to by the club leadership about his dismissal, and the subsequent manner of how it was dealt with was very unprofessional, so we left. Not sure about Newberg, I don't have any knowledge of what transpired. Maybe passion isn't the right word to use the behavior I'm describing......

[Unregistered]

Thanks for sharing, interesting data. I'm not debating the overall treatment of refs, umpires, game officials, etc. by our society. And certainly not justifying it. I'm speaking to a specific incident/type of incident. I've absolutely witnessed poor fans, and "those parents" that complain to the officials all the time, about every stinkin little call made. I frankly think basketball fans/parents are the worst. Although there are a few Vegas soccer teams that have very undesirable parents in tow at their games, that I've personally witnessed.

A systemic problem in our country/society? Probably. Parents spending way too much money on the youth sports industry for their kiddos? Probably a factor as well since that can cloud your judgment on this topic.

If I was to judge MJ on a scale of 1-10, regarding this behavior we are going back/forth about, I'd put him at a 5. I've seen so much worse, and certainly seen better. A quick glance at the boys oysa red card records would suggest the boys side of things is a bigger problem in Oregon, compared to girls. Do they get a pass because they are boys? Do refs have a shorter leash on players/coaches because they are boys? Are the fouls harder in boys games? Not sure.

He is the only coach on the list. Others were red carded for abusive language toward the official, but they were all 14-17 year old boys.

Most of those boys will mature beyond their current behavior...if they don’t they can always be 45 year-old youth soccer coaches.

[Unregistered]

Let’s just say it like it is....

This dude is a jackazz, nothing more or less. He is very unprofessional and you should stay away.

[Unregistered]

I don't have personal knowledge of what happened with THUSC. My personal perspective on the BSC situation was it was political and a difference of philosophy on the direction of the club, at that time. My family and I were lied to by the club leadership about his dismissal, and the subsequent manner of how it was dealt with was very unprofessional, so we left. Not sure about Newberg, I don't have any knowledge of what transpired. Maybe passion isn't the right word to use the behavior I'm describing......

Wow, I wished you wouldn't have brought up the whole BSC thing as I am going to defend MJ in a second . . . I've talked to the club leaders at BSC at the time - found their explanation pretty plausible and they felt they had to do the right thing. They paid for it dearly in the short time. Certainly parents going through it are entitled to a different perspective (I know well one parent who left with GPS, but kept a good relationship with BSC).

However, I really believe referees have a problem enforcing the laws of the game consistently in girls soccer. Way too many pushes from behind, high elbows, kicking of the goalies, not enough cards. Simply put, refs give too much benefit of the doubt to girls that they don't to boys.

There may be some coaching issues as well - girls take longer to learn how to properly tackle or complete a legal charge. Makes referring harder.

I also think girls are not as assertive enough in being their own advocate on the field. Through in this whole reverse sexism - parents kind of expect each other and coaches to be a little more polite than in the boys game.

So it puts girls' coaches in a tough place. Players need advocates; seeing your players repeatedly get mauled gets old. Is it better for a coach to address their choice words towards the player (a minor), an opposing coach?

Not part of the GPS tribe, never will be. However, refs mailing it in for girls games is not acceptable. If refs won't enforce the laws of the game and it impacts player safety, not sure a coach should be silent.

[Unregistered]

Wow, I wished you wouldn't have brought up the whole BSC thing as I am going to defend MJ in a second . . . I've talked to the club leaders at BSC at the time - found their explanation pretty plausible and they felt they had to do the right thing. They paid for it dearly in the short time. Certainly parents going through it are entitled to a different perspective (I know well one parent who left with GPS, but kept a good relationship with BSC).

However, I really believe referees have a problem enforcing the laws of the game consistently in girls soccer. Way too many pushes from behind, high elbows, kicking of the goalies, not enough cards. Simply put, refs give too much benefit of the doubt to girls that they don't to boys.

There may be some coaching issues as well - girls take longer to learn how to properly tackle or complete a legal charge. Makes referring harder.

I also think girls are not as assertive enough in being their own advocate on the field. Through in this whole reverse sexism - parents kind of expect each other and coaches to be a little more polite than in the boys game.

So it puts girls' coaches in a tough place. Players need advocates; seeing your players repeatedly get mauled gets old. Is it better for a coach to address their choice words towards the player (a minor), an opposing coach?

Not part of the GPS tribe, never will be. However, refs mailing it in for girls games is not acceptable. If refs won't enforce the laws of the game and it impacts player safety, not sure a coach should be silent.

That's fine that a coach should speak up and advocate for their players. I agree.

At this point, do you think that a coach that has been red carded this many times is carrying a voice of credibility with the refs? Do you think his advocacy is actually heard? He has no respect for the referees and the referees do not respect him. In what line of work does berating and yelling truthfully earn you respect and a voice. His display and "passion" is equivalent to a middle school emotion with an adult vocabulary.

His last red card was more than just his kid sitting on the bench. It was a game full of whining and constant belittling/dissent to the referee. Not loud yelling, but an ongoing lack of respect that was polished off by a final argument about a person that was not allowed (per OYSA and USYSA rules) on the bench.

Regardless of the referee being in the wrong or right. This coach chose an approach that obviously was not working with the referee and will only reinforce the referees decision in the long run. This coach is not educating or helping the referees. This coach is only making himself heard and known.

If he TRULY cared beyond that one game (which 10+ red cards is supposed to show his years of passion), then he would be taking a more direct route in working with the states referee education, emploring his club to all be grade 8 refs, and spending time raising funds/developing resources to help better equip this mass issue that continues to plague him.

(P.s. sorry for typos)

[Unregistered]

On another note, the 2 former GPS British coaches are returning to start their own academy in Portland. Can anyone provide some insight?

[Unregistered]

On another note, the 2 former GPS British coaches are returning to start their own academy in Portland. Can anyone provide some insight?

Portland is full if suckers.

[Unregistered]

That's fine that a coach should speak up and advocate for their players. I agree.

At this point, do you think that a coach that has been red carded this many times is carrying a voice of credibility with the refs? Do you think his advocacy is actually heard? He has no respect for the referees and the referees do not respect him. In what line of work does berating and yelling truthfully earn you respect and a voice. His display and "passion" is equivalent to a middle school emotion with an adult vocabulary.

His last red card was more than just his kid sitting on the bench. It was a game full of whining and constant belittling/dissent to the referee. Not loud yelling, but an ongoing lack of respect that was polished off by a final argument about a person that was not allowed (per OYSA and USYSA rules) on the bench.

Regardless of the referee being in the wrong or right. This coach chose an approach that obviously was not working with the referee and will only reinforce the referees decision in the long run. This coach is not educating or helping the referees. This coach is only making himself heard and known.

If he TRULY cared beyond that one game (which 10+ red cards is supposed to show his years of passion), then he would be taking a more direct route in working with the states referee education, emploring his club to all be grade 8 refs, and spending time raising funds/developing resources to help better equip this mass issue that continues to plague him.

(P.s. sorry for typos)

Obviously you don't know him. He has nothing close to an adult vocabulary.

[Unregistered]

On another note, the 2 former GPS British coaches are returning to start their own academy in Portland. Can anyone provide some insight?

Insight is easy...If MJ can do it with an accent and some lies about playing pro, so can we!!

[Unregistered]

Overall, there are 9 characteristics of NPD. You must have at least 5 of these at the same time to be diagnosed with it. Some narcissists may be able to control these personality traits, but some may not, and that is when they start to become dangerous.

1. Arrogance and Domineering
People with NPD are likely to have arrogant qualities, and will assert one's own ideas over others in an air of superiority and pride. Funny enough, when I went on google to find an image of arrogance, it mostly came up with a vast collection of business men sticking their noses up in the air. This not only confirms the unfortunate stereotype of business men, but also remind us that people with big egos are mostly found in corporations and businesses.

2. Grandiosity
Grandiosity means to feel superior. Narcissists usually elevate them selves to the point where everyone else is inferior to them, their traits and their talents.

3. Preoccupation with Success and Power
Due to their high expectations of themselves, they never expect to fail. Ambitions of success and achieving power dominates the mind of narcissist.

4. Lack of Empathy
This is definitely the most dangerous trait out of the nine because not only is it subtle and hard to detect, but it also puts everyone else around them at risk. This lack of empathy is the result generally shallow emotions, such as; the inability to love deeply, lack of remorse and lack of guilt.

For example, when someone with NPD has lost a loved one, if they lack empathy, they're not happy, but they're not sad. At least, not sad or crying to the extent most humans are. Or when they are being wed, and declaring vows to his/her partner, they probably have no intention of being emotionally faithful. They are just doing it because they are expected to. So they continue to live a married life, but the vows and emotions mean nothing to them.

Drawing away from depressing situations that affect them personally, let's take a look at how they might react to another person's suffering. For example, if a highly destructive earthquake had hit in a region halfway across the world from the narcissist, everyone would be feeling empathetic and offering condolences to those affected. But yet the NPD sufferer simply says "But I don't live in that region." It's this disconnection they feel that is highly subtle.

Many narcissists do not know the way they feel is abnormal because they have nothing to compare it to. It could be very late in someone's life when they first start to realise a lot of people didn't feel the way they did. Also, this trait is important to a narcissist simply because a lack of empathy could benefit to success.

5. Belief of Being Unique
This characteristic comes with the belief that not a lot of people have things in common with them. They believe that they are unique or special in some way, which also allows them to think that not many people can understand them. They feel that others inferior to them are too intellectually limited to even comprehend their greatness.

6. Sense of Entitlement
A person suffering from Narcissistic Personality disorder to likely to have a demeanour of sense entitlement, meaning that they believe they deserve certain privileges or special treatment.

7. Requires Excessive Admiration
Some sufferers of NPD may feel that they need to be admired or looked up to by others. They also may feel that they deserve this admiration which links closely into the belief that they deserve certain special privileges.

8. Exploitative
Narcissists have a defining characteristic of being exploitative, meaning utilising others for their own gain or advantage. Their lack of empathy could be thought to fuel this aspect of them. Along with the other characteristics, the urge for engaging in exploitation is one that could prove as a threat or pose as a danger for society and those around them.

9. Envious of Others
The last of the 9 aspects of an NPD sufferer is the tendency to be envious of others. This links in with their preoccupation with success and need for power. They use other's success to become jealous and use that as a stepping stone to their own success.