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  #1  
Old 08-12-2019
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Default Parent Tournament Fails

Thank you fellow parents for another few tournament weekends of proving that we parents are some of the dumbest soccer people around.

Anyone else have fun/stupid parent fail stories from the last few weeks of tournaments. Wow I have heard some doozies over the past few weeks. My favorites are the ref bashing at the top of your lungs about fouls. This one can be heard almost every game and is becoming my favorite. "Ref you are blowing the game for us." The last time I heard it, yesterday, it is was in context to a shoulder to shoulder check at midfield where the smaller girl fell to the ground. Let's be clear about this. Your defender that didn't mark the winger who scored a goal blew the game for you. Not gaining a free kick at midfield that was just a strong shoulder to shoulder challenge at midfield and the ref calling it correctly. Hangs head in shame that is was a parent on my team that yelled it.
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The best parent one of the weekend was after 2 players got tangled up and our player suplexed their player to the ground and didn't get a card, one of their parents yelled "what do they have to do to get a card, use a gun?" The parent was ejected from the game, but the 3-4 minutes it took helped them preserve a 1 goal lead.

The next best was seeing the parents of an RCL 1 team playing up a year in a tournament celebrating like they won the world cup after beating a select B team by a goal in the final. If you're playing up in a tournament, shouldn't you be in the gold division and not bronze? Yes, they really play in RCL 1.

The best coach one of the weekend was when our keeper had the ball, their player clipped the keeper in the head, the keeper then drops the ball and they score. The keeper is on the ground grabbing his head and the coach starts arguing that the goal should stand. The sad thing is that after being badgered by the coach, the young referee counted the goal.
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Old 08-12-2019
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Default Parent Tournament Fails

Summer tournaments are probably the best places to witness these parent fails. You're watching another team play while your kid is warming up on the sidelines. You could care less who wins or loses and don't know any of the kids. You start to see all of the typical parent types:

The helicopter parents - Their telling Timmy every single thing that he needs to do on the field. When Timmy is bumped to the ground, they want to run to the field to swoop him up. They are asking each other why the ref didn't see it as a foul. They also want all of the other players to pass Timmy the ball. Because you know, Timmy was wide open and could have won the game for the team.

The former rec coach - they are not only telling their kid what to do, but are also coaching other players as well. They are actively telling the kids who should take that corner kick. They also put down the kid that missed the corner kick if it was not their kid.

The shouter - they feel the need to yell at the ref or players on the other team. Some of their favorite lines are: "That was not off-sides" "That was off-sides" "that's a yellow card, come on ref!" "Are you blind?" "Their studs were up"
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Old 08-12-2019
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You forgot my "favorite" kind of parent, which combines all the worst qualities of these three, know nothing about the game, and have wildly unrealistic assessments of Timmy's ability and potential.

My favorite was a family who I watched move between 3 different RCL clubs in 3 years, because their Timmy was the next Nico Lodeiro...they'd move after spending a year on the C team, angry that no one else could see how amazing their child was, only for the process to repeat itself.
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Old 08-12-2019
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
Thank you fellow parents for another few tournament weekends of proving that we parents are some of the dumbest soccer people around.

Anyone else have fun/stupid parent fail stories from the last few weeks of tournaments. Wow I have heard some doozies over the past few weeks. My favorites are the ref bashing at the top of your lungs about fouls. This one can be heard almost every game and is becoming my favorite. "Ref you are blowing the game for us." The last time I heard it, yesterday, it is was in context to a shoulder to shoulder check at midfield where the smaller girl fell to the ground. Let's be clear about this. Your defender that didn't mark the winger who scored a goal blew the game for you. Not gaining a free kick at midfield that was just a strong shoulder to shoulder challenge at midfield and the ref calling it correctly. Hangs head in shame that is was a parent on my team that yelled it.
Fun fact: there isn’t some law of the game that says shoulder to shoulder challenges are permissible. Shoulder challenges made carelessly, recklessly or with excessive force or without making a play on the ball are fouls. Parents yelling “it was shoulder to shoulder” when the big kid barrels over the little kid and the refs call a fouls are common culprits in the parent fail category.
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Old 08-12-2019
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Default Parent Tournament Fails

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Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
You forgot my "favorite" kind of parent, which combines all the worst qualities of these three, know nothing about the game, and have wildly unrealistic assessments of Timmy's ability and potential.

My favorite was a family who I watched move between 3 different RCL clubs in 3 years, because their Timmy was the next Nico Lodeiro...they'd move after spending a year on the C team, angry that no one else could see how amazing their child was, only for the process to repeat itself.
Yes!! That is a really common parent type. I've seen that one over and over. The kid is fine, but it is the parents that feel that their kid is just not being noticed. They burn bridges as they leave, chase the new shiny penny, stick around long enough at the new club to buy a new kit and then rinse and repeat.
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Can i list my own or only other’s fails?
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Default Parent Tournament Fails

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Can i list my own or only other’s fails?
The beauty of being unregistered is you can pretend it is another parent.

Last weekend, I saw another parent...
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  #9  
Old 08-13-2019
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This is a funny/classic column written by Dave Barry a few years ago. Still makes me laugh. Very applicable to this thread and worth the quick read.

SOCCER PARENTING
Last night I spoke to a large gathering of South Florida youth-soccer coaches. I presented the following Q&A on how to be a soccer parent. I wish I could say I was exaggerating.

Q&A FOR SOCCER PARENTS
By Dave Barry

Q. What is the object of the game of soccer?
A. The object of the game of soccer is for your child to score goals, so that he or she will receive a full athletic scholarship to a Division 1-A college.

Q. What is the role of the other children on my child’s team?
A. Their role is to pass the ball to your child.

Q. What position should my child play?
A. Your child should play forward.

Q. What should I do if the coach wants my child to be a defender?
A. Be reasonable. Ask the coach, calmly and politely, why he wants your child to play defense. Listen to his explanation, and consider it carefully. Then, file a lawsuit.

Q. How many minutes should my child play?
A. Your child should play however many minutes are in the game.

Q. When is it acceptable for the coach to substitute another player for my child?
A. When your child is not at the game.

Q. What is my job, as a parent, during a soccer game?
A. Your job is to yell instructions to your child and the other children on your child’s team.

Q. Should I make an effort to educate myself about the rules and tactics of soccer before I start yelling instructions?
A. There is no need for that. As a parent, you have a natural intuitive understanding of the game, which you should share with the entire world by constant yelling.

Q. Can you give me some examples of the kinds of instructions I should yell?
A. You should yell helpful tactical information, such as:
• GET THE BALL!
• KICK THE BALL!
• I SAID GET THE BALL DAMMIT!
• SCORE A GOAL!

Q. Shouldn’t the coach be the one who gives instructions to the players?
A. No, the coach is standing too far away to know what is going on.

Q. Should I also yell at the referee?
A. Absolutely. The referee is always grateful for the shouted opinions of parents on the sidelines. If the referee makes a call that you disagree with – defined as “a call against your child’s team” -- be sure to let him know, and he will be happy to change it. He will also appreciate it if you remind him, from time to time, that he is an idiot.

Q. What does it mean when my child has the ball taken away by another child?
A. It means your child has been fouled. You should let the referee know this immediately.

Q. What should I do if my child falls down?
A. Inform the referee that he needs to issue a red card to whatever player was nearest to your child when your child fell down.

Q. What should I do if my child knocks an opposing player down from behind so hard that the opponent is bleeding and screaming in pain, possibly with a bone sticking out of his leg?
A. You should yell: “THAT WAS ALL BALL, REF!!”

Q. What should I yell if the other team scores a goal?
A. You should yell: “THAT WAS OFFSIDE REF!!”

Q. What does “offside” actually mean?
A. Nobody knows.

Q. If my child somehow fails to get a full scholarship to a Division 1-A college, what is the most likely explanation?
A. The most likely explanation is that your child is not getting adequate coaching. But it’s also possible that -- to be brutally honest -- you were not yelling loud enough.

Q. I have followed all of your instructions, and for some reason my child is saying that he might want not to keep playing soccer. Also the coach has announced that he will not be with the team next year. Also I have noticed that the other parents have started sitting far away from me on the sidelines.

A. Just ignore them. Some parents can be real jerks.

Posted by Dave on October 15, 2015 at 08:17 AM | Permalink
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  #10  
Old 08-13-2019
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
Summer tournaments are probably the best places to witness these parent fails. You're watching another team play while your kid is warming up on the sidelines. You could care less who wins or loses and don't know any of the kids. You start to see all of the typical parent types:

The helicopter parents - Their telling Timmy every single thing that he needs to do on the field. When Timmy is bumped to the ground, they want to run to the field to swoop him up. They are asking each other why the ref didn't see it as a foul. They also want all of the other players to pass Timmy the ball. Because you know, Timmy was wide open and could have won the game for the team.

The former rec coach - they are not only telling their kid what to do, but are also coaching other players as well. They are actively telling the kids who should take that corner kick. They also put down the kid that missed the corner kick if it was not their kid.

The shouter - they feel the need to yell at the ref or players on the other team. Some of their favorite lines are: "That was not off-sides" "That was off-sides" "that's a yellow card, come on ref!" "Are you blind?" "Their studs were up"
I once see a coach slide on all fours in front of the opposing team when they scored an equaliser . Was the most pathetic thing I have ever seen in a game . That same coach also got caught out for lying about his credentials as a coach and turned out to be nothing more then a mod level coach who had played no higher then a Sunday league team (after telling people he was a former youth player of a premier league team) . Was also nicknamed the gnome by the parents as half the kids was bigger then him at 11 😂
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