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    Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
    Funny story, and I don't doubt it's true. Parental OVER-involvement is a curse, but parental involvement is not. Unfortunately, many parents don't know where to draw the line in a way that's healthy for their kids, and they make for the best stories and are great to make examples of when arguing a point.

    My biggest beef is with the coaches who want to argue that ALL parents are like this. Likewise, I have a beef with the parents that think that ALL coaches are only interested in cashing checks, filling teams, and furthering their careers. It's senseless.
    I have been involved in youth soccer and sports for over 20 years and both coaches and parent conform to the bell curve. Ranges from utterly disinterested parents, the bell in the middle have the parents that are involved to the extent that the come to games and some practices and are positive on the sidelines. Then there are the bell curve outliers that are the crazies. Over involved, poor sportsmanship, negative nattering nabobs who criticize everyone from their own kid to teammates, officials, coaches, other parents, the guy who cut the grass etc etc.. These nutbags have been accomodated for too long and the time has come to cut them out of the loop. If u can't behave as an adult you have no right to be near the game.

    - Cujo

    Comment


      Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
      I have been involved in youth soccer and sports for over 20 years and both coaches and parent conform to the bell curve. Ranges from utterly disinterested parents, the bell in the middle have the parents that are involved to the extent that the come to games and some practices and are positive on the sidelines. Then there are the bell curve outliers that are the crazies. Over involved, poor sportsmanship, negative nattering nabobs who criticize everyone from their own kid to teammates, officials, coaches, other parents, the guy who cut the grass etc etc.. These nutbags have been accomodated for too long and the time has come to cut them out of the loop. If u can't behave as an adult you have no right to be near the game.

      - Cujo
      Completely agree - and I can add more. There was a parent on my son's team who would openly scream at kids on our team, including my son. This parent would yell at the best 3-5 players on the team, practically to a fault, throughout the entire game. He'd yell at his own a lot too, and would openly criticize the best players. He was eventually told by our coach that he would need to sit in his car or he'd be banned from the club and his son would be banned, as well.

      Comment


        Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
        Parental over-involvement goes far beyond the soccer field. I have a friend who is a HS teacher in Newton. Several parents every year will send their kid's corrected essays and papers back to the teacher with parent corrections or observations about the teacher's corrections. This started about 10 years ago. The parents don't even let their kids know about it. They mail them to the school. Almost all include recommendations for a change in grade.

        - Cujo
        One of my kids got an answer wrong on a science test. My kid pressed the teacher privately that they thought there was a mistake. The grade on the test was the difference between an A and a B. The teacher dismissed the fact that there may be a mistake. My kid presented proof out of the textbook that their answer was correct. Dismissed again. I set up a meeting with the teacher. I presented the facts and again was dismissed. Another meeting with the dept head and the teacher and finally an admission that there was a "mistake".

        That is the only time I ever set foot in that school other than to attend a ceremony or watch a game.

        Sorry but ******* off a few teachers is a small price to pay to show your kids that standing up for what is right is the right thing to do.

        Advocating selectively for your kids is not a crime.

        Comment


          Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
          I have been involved in youth soccer and sports for over 20 years and both coaches and parent conform to the bell curve. Ranges from utterly disinterested parents, the bell in the middle have the parents that are involved to the extent that the come to games and some practices and are positive on the sidelines. Then there are the bell curve outliers that are the crazies. Over involved, poor sportsmanship, negative nattering nabobs who criticize everyone from their own kid to teammates, officials, coaches, other parents, the guy who cut the grass etc etc.. These nutbags have been accomodated for too long and the time has come to cut them out of the loop. If u can't behave as an adult you have no right to be near the game.

          - Cujo
          It will never go away in a general sense. Nutjob parents have always been around and always will be. Coaches and clubs (and other parents) can do what they can to create their own environment, but it will always be case by case. But those bad apples just end up somewhere else and become someone else's problem. Some idiots rarely learn a lesson

          Comment


            Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
            One of my kids got an answer wrong on a science test. My kid pressed the teacher privately that they thought there was a mistake. The grade on the test was the difference between an A and a B. The teacher dismissed the fact that there may be a mistake. My kid presented proof out of the textbook that their answer was correct. Dismissed again. I set up a meeting with the teacher. I presented the facts and again was dismissed. Another meeting with the dept head and the teacher and finally an admission that there was a "mistake".

            That is the only time I ever set foot in that school other than to attend a ceremony or watch a game.

            Sorry but ******* off a few teachers is a small price to pay to show your kids that standing up for what is right is the right thing to do.

            Advocating selectively for your kids is not a crime.
            Definitely not Cujo...yours is an example where it's completely appropriate to step in (although some might even argue your student should have taken it to the department head lol). I think what Cujo may be rallying against is that the end of the bell curve he's describing has gotten too large and needs to righted. There's only so much an individual can do to fight societal trends. The best they can do is raise their own kids as they see fit and try and set a good example for them.

            Comment


              Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
              Completely agree - and I can add more. There was a parent on my son's team who would openly scream at kids on our team, including my son. This parent would yell at the best 3-5 players on the team, practically to a fault, throughout the entire game. He'd yell at his own a lot too, and would openly criticize the best players. He was eventually told by our coach that he would need to sit in his car or he'd be banned from the club and his son would be banned, as well.
              I hate it when parents yell at other kids on the team. Frankly, NO PARENT should be screaming at any kid except maybe their own (once in awhile :)

              I love it how some parents "go to town" downgrading other players but not a word about their son/daughter.

              We had one parent who would go on and on about how great a wing his son was, how hard it was for his kid to play with lesser players yada yada yada

              Well for some reason his son had "wheels fall off car" and could no longer score or beat defensive players last year. Parent switched his normal rants to criticizing coach and how his son's confidence was being undermined LOL

              How about you kid is now one of underperforming players??

              Bottom like no one should talk about any other kid but there own!

              Comment


                Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                One of my kids got an answer wrong on a science test. My kid pressed the teacher privately that they thought there was a mistake. The grade on the test was the difference between an A and a B. The teacher dismissed the fact that there may be a mistake. My kid presented proof out of the textbook that their answer was correct. Dismissed again. I set up a meeting with the teacher. I presented the facts and again was dismissed. Another meeting with the dept head and the teacher and finally an admission that there was a "mistake".

                That is the only time I ever set foot in that school other than to attend a ceremony or watch a game.

                Sorry but ******* off a few teachers is a small price to pay to show your kids that standing up for what is right is the right thing to do.

                Advocating selectively for your kids is not a crime.
                Right - agreed in your case. Teachers are not perfect but the parents I was referring to were questioning subjective grades for essays and term papers. Totally different than a fact or a math issue.

                - Cuo

                Comment


                  Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                  Completely agree - and I can add more. There was a parent on my son's team who would openly scream at kids on our team, including my son. This parent would yell at the best 3-5 players on the team, practically to a fault, throughout the entire game. He'd yell at his own a lot too, and would openly criticize the best players. He was eventually told by our coach that he would need to sit in his car or he'd be banned from the club and his son would be banned, as well.
                  Some of you act as though this is something new when it really isn't. The reason it is a bigger issue now is simply because organized sports have become such a big part of just about every kid's life these days. It's a percentage thing. The more kids you have participating the more chance you will come across a whack job. It's nothing new though. I'm in my late 50's and can vividly remember one of the dads on my Little League team having melt downs in the stands at his kid as well as the other kids on the team. I can also vividly remember a couple of Mom's really inserting themselves into coaching decisions on my Pop Werner football team because one of them circulated a petition at one point to have certain kids elected to the end of season all start team. That sort of stuff has always been around, the big difference is in my home town back then there were only 8 little league baseball teams in the whole program instead of the hundreds it probably has now. In my entire neighborhood I was the only one that was actually on one of those teams even though it was a typical neighborhood from back then where all the kids were out playing sports after school. Times change but jerks have always been around.

                  Comment


                    Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                    Some of you act as though this is something new when it really isn't. The reason it is a bigger issue now is simply because organized sports have become such a big part of just about every kid's life these days. It's a percentage thing. The more kids you have participating the more chance you will come across a whack job. It's nothing new though. I'm in my late 50's and can vividly remember one of the dads on my Little League team having melt downs in the stands at his kid as well as the other kids on the team. I can also vividly remember a couple of Mom's really inserting themselves into coaching decisions on my Pop Werner football team because one of them circulated a petition at one point to have certain kids elected to the end of season all start team. That sort of stuff has always been around, the big difference is in my home town back then there were only 8 little league baseball teams in the whole program instead of the hundreds it probably has now. In my entire neighborhood I was the only one that was actually on one of those teams even though it was a typical neighborhood from back then where all the kids were out playing sports after school. Times change but jerks have always been around.
                    So I agree the jerks have always been around. Growing up in a hockey family, I saw many near fights in the stands involving parents and a few situations where shoving or a punch happened. And yeah they still yelled at the referee about the other teams dirty players, screamed when a tripping call didnt get made (regardless of it really being a trip or not), and the usual fan behaviors. But what I dont recall is the parent who would openly call out individual players on their own team or openly talk up their own kids at the expense of others. it may have been done privately or in small groups, but it would have been frowned upon and that person would have been ostracized and you'd eventually see them off in a corner by themselves if they violated some unwritten parent code. Lot of self policing happened because the "team" was more important. Dont see that as much anymore.

                    Comment


                      Another thing that is screwed up is the stupid zero tolerance policies. The towns use them to ward off any criticism whatsoever instead of maybe looking at who is refereeing and how capable they are. A substantial amount craziness that happens on the sidelines really comes down to the officiating. Everyone is just supposed to shut up when bodies are flying while some 11 yo ref is ******* their pants. There is a lot of incompetence out there from program administrators down to coaches and yet those very people use policies like zero tolerance to hide behind instead of doing what is right. This thread is just an example.

                      Comment


                        Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                        Another thing that is screwed up is the stupid zero tolerance policies. The towns use them to ward off any criticism whatsoever instead of maybe looking at who is refereeing and how capable they are. A substantial amount craziness that happens on the sidelines really comes down to the officiating. Everyone is just supposed to shut up when bodies are flying while some 11 yo ref is ******* their pants. There is a lot of incompetence out there from program administrators down to coaches and yet those very people use policies like zero tolerance to hide behind instead of doing what is right. This thread is just an example.
                        11yr old refs should be limited to centering u10 and younger. Was this ref working an older age group? Bodies are flying? Sounds more like a failure at the coaching level.

                        Comment


                          Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                          Another thing that is screwed up is the stupid zero tolerance policies. The towns use them to ward off any criticism whatsoever instead of maybe looking at who is refereeing and how capable they are. A substantial amount craziness that happens on the sidelines really comes down to the officiating. Everyone is just supposed to shut up when bodies are flying while some 11 yo ref is ******* their pants. There is a lot of incompetence out there from program administrators down to coaches and yet those very people use policies like zero tolerance to hide behind instead of doing what is right. This thread is just an example.
                          You are either a troll, dumb*ss or simply an ignoramus.(You choose). Zero tolerance is in place to keep idiots like you from screaming on the sidelines of a meaningless youth soccer game! In many cases these kids are trying their best to referee a game while parents like you scream "off-sides" or "FOUL" any time your team gets beat or your child gets knocked down.

                          As a coach for 5 years I've never once yelled at a ref, no matter what the call and have only spoke to them(quietly) if play is getting dangerous.

                          Did you ever think that the reason you have the 11yr old ref, is that adults don't get paid enough to deal with a**holes like you.

                          Comment


                            Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                            You are either a troll, dumb*ss or simply an ignoramus.(You choose). Zero tolerance is in place to keep idiots like you from screaming on the sidelines of a meaningless youth soccer game! In many cases these kids are trying their best to referee a game while parents like you scream "off-sides" or "FOUL" any time your team gets beat or your child gets knocked down.

                            As a coach for 5 years I've never once yelled at a ref, no matter what the call and have only spoke to them(quietly) if play is getting dangerous.

                            Did you ever think that the reason you have the 11yr old ref, is that adults don't get paid enough to deal with a**holes like you.
                            Wow, a whopping 5 years. Guys a literal expert

                            Comment


                              Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                              Wow, a whopping 5 years. Guys a literal expert
                              And what exactly do you bring to the table?
                              Besides your mouth.

                              Comment


                                Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                                Another thing that is screwed up is the stupid zero tolerance policies. The towns use them to ward off any criticism whatsoever instead of maybe looking at who is refereeing and how capable they are. A substantial amount craziness that happens on the sidelines really comes down to the officiating. Everyone is just supposed to shut up when bodies are flying while some 11 yo ref is ******* their pants. There is a lot of incompetence out there from program administrators down to coaches and yet those very people use policies like zero tolerance to hide behind instead of doing what is right. This thread is just an example.
                                wow, what a bunch of crap this is...deflect the craziness from screaming and abusive parents and coaches and blame young referees. Now there is any easy target. I have never seen a super young referee officiate an older age group and the whole concept of developing the referees is to provide them with training and feedback at these early stages. And it takes time. But screaming at them for making a bad call is a great reason for zero tolerance...do you think they will improve because idiots like you are yelling at them ?If as a coach i have issues with referees, i speak to them constructively during half time or after the game...if i think there are serious safety issues happening, i will make them aware of it. But that is not what zero tolerance is about. And if after I speak with the referee i think additional feedback is warranted, i provide that to the league referee coordinator or head referee. Pretty basic.

                                Comment

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