Dear Fluffer,
We are always on the lookout for good material for the president's twice-daily propaganda folder, and your alt-right essays on Talking-Soccer caught our eye. We put a few of your writings in the folder to test his reaction, and we can report the following. First, as he often does, he think's it "not f***ing positive enough". If you spent more time pumping up his ego and less time attacking the left, it might hold his attention. We noticed he dozed off while reading one of your poorly-sourced, long-winded rants on the evils of liberalism. Also, the POTUS asks if you could please stop using the Washington Times as a reference because he hates "that Moonie rag".
Your material falls below our usual standards, but we are becoming increasingly desperate to find people still willing to say nice things about Mr. Trump. We are now forced to consider articles written by anonymous authors. Please keep up your efforts, or we may find ourselves forced to fabricate even more of this material than we already do.
Warmest Regards,
The White House Staff
We are always on the lookout for good material for the president's twice-daily propaganda folder, and your alt-right essays on Talking-Soccer caught our eye. We put a few of your writings in the folder to test his reaction, and we can report the following. First, as he often does, he think's it "not f***ing positive enough". If you spent more time pumping up his ego and less time attacking the left, it might hold his attention. We noticed he dozed off while reading one of your poorly-sourced, long-winded rants on the evils of liberalism. Also, the POTUS asks if you could please stop using the Washington Times as a reference because he hates "that Moonie rag".
Your material falls below our usual standards, but we are becoming increasingly desperate to find people still willing to say nice things about Mr. Trump. We are now forced to consider articles written by anonymous authors. Please keep up your efforts, or we may find ourselves forced to fabricate even more of this material than we already do.
Warmest Regards,
The White House Staff
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