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**Unregistered** · 11-02-2009, 01:21 PM

Originally posted by Unregistered View Post

How do you handle parents from your team speak so brutal about other kids on the team including your own on the sidelines?
Comments are very loud, and parent(s) don't seem to mind if others are in ear shot when speaking.
Only concern is players can hear this when they are close on the field at the time.

My daughter's team had a few parents who would specifically sit at the middle line, so that they were next to the other team's parents and then make remarks all through the game about the other team. I started off by standing by them and for every negative remark, I would find a positive thing to say. I would then, win or lose, make sure to go up to some of the other parents and again make positive comments, thank them for traveling so far if we were home or commenting on their fields if we were away. Anything to make up for the other parents. But every tryout we were always looked at as the team no one wanted to come to (even though we were quite good). What's the saying, one bad apple can spoil the whole pie. My point, take care of it now or it will only hurt you down the road. Sad to say (because it was not the player's fault) but the players did end up not making when we finally did a good show at tryouts, but I'm not sure they ever understood why.

**SodiumFan[2]** · 11-02-2009, 01:54 PM

From a former 'Loud' parent

I will admit, my first couple years of club soccer I was the loud parent. I make no bones about it and take full responsibility. Here is what helped me; One of the other dads on the team [a friend then and now] pulled me aside and educated me on the �do's & don'ts� of acting responsible on the sidelines. He told me that not only are the players/coaches but the fans/parents responsible for how the team is perceived by the other teams and the league. He explained that what the girls prove on the field with their feet far surpasses anything that could come out of my mouth. And, that the girls don�t listen to our side of the field anyway, only the coaches side.

I took that to heart and now, and for the last few years, if I indeed yell, it is positive and encompasses the entire team. Like �Way to go!� for example.

I find it funny now because when we happen to play a team that has �Loud� parents, especially if they are negative or player specific, I will get that look from my wife that says; �That used to be you!� LOL!

That is what helped me and I hope this helps in your cause.

Cheers! :D

**Unregistered** · 11-02-2009, 04:18 PM

Originally posted by SodiumFan[2] View Post

I will admit, my first couple years of club soccer I was the loud parent. I make no bones about it and take full responsibility. Here is what helped me; One of the other dads on the team [a friend then and now] pulled me aside and educated me on the �do's & don'ts� of acting responsible on the sidelines. He told me that not only are the players/coaches but the fans/parents responsible for how the team is perceived by the other teams and the league. He explained that what the girls prove on the field with their feet far surpasses anything that could come out of my mouth. And, that the girls don�t listen to our side of the field anyway, only the coaches side.

I took that to heart and now, and for the last few years, if I indeed yell, it is positive and encompasses the entire team. Like �Way to go!� for example.

I find it funny now because when we happen to play a team that has �Loud� parents, especially if they are negative or player specific, I will get that look from my wife that says; �That used to be you!� LOL!

That is what helped me and I hope this helps in your cause.

Cheers! :D

Now you are just loud and boastful on your blog

**SodiumFan[2]** · 11-02-2009, 04:31 PM

But you don't have to read it...:D

**Tieyourshoes** · 11-02-2009, 04:38 PM

One thing that helped with the "Negative Nellie" parents from a team my son was on, was to talk with the coach away from the field to let him know that some parents were concerned how our team was perceived because of the nasty comments coming from a few people. No names were named, but the coach got the gist of what was going on. At the next practice, he called a quick parent meeting to remind people that these are kids playing, that we'd like to set an example for our kids by having all the parents on our team be gracious winners and losers, and that to show the other team respect by not making nasty comments. It was also a good thing that the players were able to hear this. At the next game when a parent was getting out of hand, some parents jokingly reminded that person about the coach's request, and he was more mindful about his comments. It didn't disappear overnight, but it did get better throughout the season. I think it helped because the request initially came from the coach, and because the parents had a sense of humor about reminding people to "play nice."

**Unregistered** · 11-02-2009, 05:37 PM

It actually is an easy solution, I agree asforementioned, that coach/director should be the judge and jury on this. The team/club is the focus and anything that takes away from that focus should be put on notice by said coach/director. Even if it is a perception by others. (perception is reality - until it is addressed)

Any form of communication can be a distraction of the team/club and it can be a distraction if done verbally and/or blogged.

This includes comments by parents with their opinion on what they percieve as their teams area of opportunities; and not limiting it to parent(s) that blast or comment on other teams of their same (biased) opinion.

If the coach/director does not handle, well, then it is an image the parent(s) and team/club will have to live with. Also, it is a behavior that coach/director condones for their team/club whether they Like it or not.

**KeizerChief** · 11-02-2009, 06:07 PM

Originally posted by SodiumFan[2] View Post

I will admit, my first couple years of club soccer I was the loud parent. I make no bones about it and take full responsibility. Here is what helped me; One of the other dads on the team [a friend then and now] pulled me aside and educated me on the �do's & don'ts� of acting responsible on the sidelines. He told me that not only are the players/coaches but the fans/parents responsible for how the team is perceived by the other teams and the league. He explained that what the girls prove on the field with their feet far surpasses anything that could come out of my mouth. And, that the girls don�t listen to our side of the field anyway, only the coaches side.

I took that to heart and now, and for the last few years, if I indeed yell, it is positive and encompasses the entire team. Like �Way to go!� for example.

I find it funny now because when we happen to play a team that has �Loud� parents, especially if they are negative or player specific, I will get that look from my wife that says; �That used to be you!� LOL!

That is what helped me and I hope this helps in your cause.

Cheers! :D

When did you stop being loud on the sidelines--must have been just this fall season?

Perhaps about the same time you did a sudden 180 and started being nice on your blog and quit calling the other teams of 13 year old girls names (who can forget the classic "Keizer Corn-Fed Cows" comment from last year-- our girls can't)?

For all your bragging and boasting about "shut up and don't read it, I don't care, etc etc" you seem to have (suddenly) lost some of your swagger.. methinks your club is embarrassed as you continue to say/convince yourself that you "take that to heart and now, and for the last few years, if I indeed yell, it is positive and encompasses the entire team. Like �Way to go!� for example. " but indeed act much differently in real life..

Everyone has heard your inappropriate comments both on the sidelines and heard about them in your blog.

**SodiumFan[2]** · 11-02-2009, 07:14 PM

Just to let you know, I'm way past arguing on forums. Sorry if you feel angry and bitter towards our team. Have a nice night and we'll see you on the field next week.

How do you know what I'm like in real life? Stalking again...?

Cheers! :D

**Unregistered** · 11-02-2009, 07:30 PM

Originally posted by KeizerChief View Post

When did you stop being loud on the sidelines--must have been just this fall season?

Perhaps about the same time you did a sudden 180 and started being nice on your blog and quit calling the other teams of 13 year old girls names (who can forget the classic "Keizer Corn-Fed Cows" comment from last year-- our girls can't)?

For all your bragging and boasting about "shut up and don't read it, I don't care, etc etc" you seem to have (suddenly) lost some of your swagger.. methinks your club is embarrassed as you continue to say/convince yourself that you "take that to heart and now, and for the last few years, if I indeed yell, it is positive and encompasses the entire team. Like �Way to go!� for example. " but indeed act much differently in real life..

Everyone has heard your inappropriate comments both on the sidelines and heard about them in your blog.

Give it a rest.

**Unregistered** · 11-02-2009, 07:51 PM

Originally posted by Unregistered View Post

Give it a rest.

I agree, no one likes to read nasty comments.
Back to point, there was a father on my son's team, that was really nice off the field, but, on the field it was something else. His son was the goalie, and a good one, but every thing that a player on our team did, that he thought was wrong, or that he did not agree with, he yelled out. He wasn't overly loud, but I could hear him. He tended to stay down the field near what ever goal his son was in. He really did not call out players on the other team either. But, I remember being so surprised up some of his comments about players on our team. This team, btw was a 3x state championship team.
I think people like this have controlling personalities, and yell out simply out of frustration. They want to blame every player for less than perfect games. Since his son was the goalie it made things all the worst.
He was not the worst that I have encountered, he was just surprising.
Parents that yell fall into 3 catagories I think. Those that yell relentlessly at their own kid, those that yell at the other players, officials etc, and those like the dad above that take out their frustrations on their own team.

**Unregistered** · 11-02-2009, 08:28 PM

Yeah, here we are back again! So, what did I miss? Looks like the sodium guy is still getting blasted! If he try's to post nice things about his & other teams on here or his blog, keizerchief accuses him of "loosing his swagger and the club being embarrassed"! If he says what he really thinks like how pathetic some teams in gold are, then he gets attacked for that too!

Damned if he does, damned if he doesn't!

Alright! Keep up the good work folks!

(I will now shut up and go back to WPS where the real action is!)

**Unregistered** · 11-03-2009, 09:31 AM

Originally posted by Unregistered View Post

I agree, no one likes to read nasty comments.
Back to point, there was a father on my son's team, that was really nice off the field, but, on the field it was something else. His son was the goalie, and a good one, but every thing that a player on our team did, that he thought was wrong, or that he did not agree with, he yelled out. He wasn't overly loud, but I could hear him. He tended to stay down the field near what ever goal his son was in. He really did not call out players on the other team either. But, I remember being so surprised up some of his comments about players on our team. This team, btw was a 3x state championship team.
I think people like this have controlling personalities, and yell out simply out of frustration. They want to blame every player for less than perfect games. Since his son was the goalie it made things all the worst.
He was not the worst that I have encountered, he was just surprising.
Parents that yell fall into 3 catagories I think. Those that yell relentlessly at their own kid, those that yell at the other players, officials etc, and those like the dad above that take out their frustrations on their own team.

Thanks for the great advice everyone. I will say very quickly that the parent is a parent from my kids team. Person isn't making comments on the other team, just our's. The point above seems to be spot on and I will chalk it up to some what the same kind of parent and just leave it alone.
I did have a former team where kid came from and there was a Dad who was so abusive to our own team players on the sidelines that there were so many parents in an up roar, coaches did nothing. Once my kid said they could hear it and it was a distraction then I stepped in and said something to the guy. Wasn't nice, but he got the piont. Things went down hill from there. I just don't want that again is all. I find it funny when some cannot even support the team our kids play on. It also makes no excuses for those that don't support the opposing team. Do we not all see that our kids will most likely end up playing high school together or ODP or which ever?

**Unregistered** · 11-03-2009, 10:25 AM

Originally posted by Unregistered View Post

How do you handle parents from your team speak so brutal about other kids on the team including your own on the sidelines?
Comments are very loud, and parent(s) don't seem to mind if others are in ear shot when speaking.
Only concern is players can hear this when they are close on the field at the time.

Have the parent sign a parental code of conduct and remove that parent from the sideline when they screw up. Kids get to play youth sports once and do not need some loser making it a bad experience for all.

The funny thing is the parent acting like a jerk was usually the kid that was not good at sports as a kid and now has re-invented themself into a "expert" as an adult!!

**Shu's Daddy** · 11-03-2009, 11:01 AM

Duct tape!!!

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