Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

How to motivate a 11 y.o. to play the best he can?

Collapse
X
  •  
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    How to motivate a 11 y.o. to play the best he can?

    My 11 y.o. son started this season with one of the very top teams in the region, after leaving his previous club, where he and I saw no growth for himself. This new team has some tremendously-talented boys, and the coach is excellent in making them play together as a cohesive squad, not a hoard.
    So far he has not been able to show his potential, appears timid and lacks confidence on the pitch. Consequently, the coach rarely starts him, and he spends 2/3 of his matches on the bench...which I completely agree with, since the matches are played to win, not to give someone playing time. He gets benched 4 or more times in every match, more than any other boy on his quad; and deservedly so.
    I don't know how to motivate him to show his true self, be a lot more aggressive, skillful and assertive, which he's fully capable of. At this point he just gives up, and does not fight on, unlike his teammates.
    I'm going to be contacting his coach regarding this , but wanted to run this by the other parents first.
    Any suggestions?

    #2
    Assuming you went through the standard of witholding meals, running barefoot in the snow, etc.?

    Comment


      #3
      Top team in the Region...Wow

      Comment


        #4
        Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
        My 11 y.o. son started this season with one of the very top teams in the region, after leaving his previous club, where he and I saw no growth for himself. This new team has some tremendously-talented boys, and the coach is excellent in making them play together as a cohesive squad, not a hoard.
        So far he has not been able to show his potential, appears timid and lacks confidence on the pitch. Consequently, the coach rarely starts him, and he spends 2/3 of his matches on the bench...which I completely agree with, since the matches are played to win, not to give someone playing time. He gets benched 4 or more times in every match, more than any other boy on his quad; and deservedly so.
        I don't know how to motivate him to show his true self, be a lot more aggressive, skillful and assertive, which he's fully capable of. At this point he just gives up, and does not fight on, unlike his teammates.
        I'm going to be contacting his coach regarding this , but wanted to run this by the other parents first.
        Any suggestions?
        Move him to a team that's more appropriate for his skill level. Sounds like he's in over his head and/or isn't clicking with the team and coach. That said, at that age players still should be getting very good PT. Not equal but very meaningful.

        Comment


          #5
          Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
          My 11 y.o. son started this season with one of the very top teams in the region, after leaving his previous club, where he and I saw no growth for himself. This new team has some tremendously-talented boys, and the coach is excellent in making them play together as a cohesive squad, not a hoard.
          So far he has not been able to show his potential, appears timid and lacks confidence on the pitch. Consequently, the coach rarely starts him, and he spends 2/3 of his matches on the bench...which I completely agree with, since the matches are played to win, not to give someone playing time. He gets benched 4 or more times in every match, more than any other boy on his quad; and deservedly so.
          I don't know how to motivate him to show his true self, be a lot more aggressive, skillful and assertive, which he's fully capable of. At this point he just gives up, and does not fight on, unlike his teammates.
          I'm going to be contacting his coach regarding this , but wanted to run this by the other parents first.
          Any suggestions?
          Yeah, please leave soccer and your son alone.
          But make sure you ruin every car ride you have by yelling at him about how miserable a player he is before you leave...

          Comment


            #6
            Sounds like he's in over his head, knows he's in over his head, and doesn't want to disappoint dad.

            Kinda' sad, actually.

            Comment


              #7
              Let me guess, you just stumbled upon TS?

              Comment


                #8
                Have you thought about violin?

                Comment


                  #9
                  In soccer, confidence is everything. Build him up, dont tear him down.

                  This happened with my son, and, as the issue was in his head (and not a lack of skills) we consulted a sports psychologist. It did not take much at all to completely turn the situation around.

                  Put him in low pressure situations-- pick up games, messing in the yard. And talk to the coach. Benching an 11 year old will destroy the kid's confidence. Ask what he needs to do to get more playing time.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                    Have you thought about violin?
                    Get him some private coaching. In Math and English. He's not cut out for the intensity or the grind of being great at soccer, so work on his grades, find an intellectual passion that will actually mean something to him down the road. Also, check out the cross country team...

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                      Get him some private coaching. In Math and English. He's not cut out for the intensity or the grind of being great at soccer, so work on his grades, find an intellectual passion that will actually mean something to him down the road. Also, check out the cross country team...
                      Eventually the newbies here will be able to recognize a troll post when they see one.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                        Eventually the newbies here will be able to recognize a troll post when they see one.
                        I dont think the OP is a troll. However all the posts telling him how bad his son is and that he should quit soccer are.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                          I dont think the OP is a troll. However all the posts telling him how bad his son is and that he should quit soccer are.
                          First read, I thought it was legit.

                          But, after a second read when he commented "2/3 of the game on the bench" and "matches are played to win" gave it away.

                          No U12 program lets kids rot on the bench for 2/3 of the time and, no, those games are not played to win, despite what the fools on here tell you.

                          On the offshoot it is real, the basic evidence is he is not at the right level. Maybe skill-wise he is, but psychological is still a pillar of the game and right now, he's not at the right level.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                            In soccer, confidence is everything. Build him up, dont tear him down.

                            This happened with my son, and, as the issue was in his head (and not a lack of skills) we consulted a sports psychologist. It did not take much at all to completely turn the situation around.

                            Put him in low pressure situations-- pick up games, messing in the yard. And talk to the coach. Benching an 11 year old will destroy the kid's confidence. Ask what he needs to do to get more playing time.
                            The TS here. Thanks for the level-headed response. It's definitely in his head, there's no lack of skills; he can hold his own skill-wise vs. any kid on his team. As an example, he consistently blasts balls in the top shelf from 15 yards...in the back yard, not on the pitch during matches. Same goes for ball-handling.
                            Definitely don't want to be one of those yelling parents..I've never been involved in competitive sports when I was growing up, and wouldn't know how to approach this issue. The stick definitely doesn't work for him, he just clams up, so I just have to imagine what carrot would bring him out of this.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Some kids thrive when put into a challenging environment, some shut down. If your kid is enjoying training and you see improvement, keep up the encouragement and perhaps he'll hit his stride in the spring. Pulling him out to place at a lower level might actually harm his confidence. However, if he's not enjoying even the training and you feel he's not progressing due to timidity, then definitely drop him down a level over the winter. No reason to stifle his joy of the game in order to play on a top team.

                              Comment

                              Previously entered content was automatically saved. Restore or Discard.
                              Auto-Saved
                              x
                              Insert: Thumbnail Small Medium Large Fullsize Remove  
                              x
                              Working...
                              X