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    How much should be sacrificed for the good of the team

    I am normally a firm believer in letting the coaches make their decisions w/o interference. If they bench my DD so be it, if they decide she should be defense vs striker, or whatever so be it. But I find myself having to interfere and wondering how far I should go.

    DD has just turned 9 and is playing u10 club soccer on a B team. We have the same coach as last year and roughly the same team makeup. Last year seemed mostly about development and fun.

    This year after tryouts he said DD had potential for multiple positions and one of those was keeper. He wanted her to be one of his 3 main keepers and wanted her to do some keeper training. I was fine with that because she seemed to like it well enough.

    Fast forward 6 months she has been keeper for at least 1/2 of every game (17) and her playing time on the field has been cut to 15 min. Since she gets so little playing time and spends part of regular practice doing goalie training her improvement has lagged her peers. More importantly she is not enjoying the game anymore (tho she still likes practice). She is very stressed out and has come home crying from the pressure of letting in a goal.

    I have told the coach she isn't enjoying it anymore, does not want to play goalie so much.
    I fear she will burn out/quit and it will be moot anyway. Plus I don't think its fair or natural to ask a 9 yr old to bear this burden the entire time. He feels we made a commitment to the team and is basically asking her to suck it up.

    what do you think?

    #2
    Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
    I am normally a firm believer in letting the coaches make their decisions w/o interference. If they bench my DD so be it, if they decide she should be defense vs striker, or whatever so be it. But I find myself having to interfere and wondering how far I should go.

    DD has just turned 9 and is playing u10 club soccer on a B team. We have the same coach as last year and roughly the same team makeup. Last year seemed mostly about development and fun.

    This year after tryouts he said DD had potential for multiple positions and one of those was keeper. He wanted her to be one of his 3 main keepers and wanted her to do some keeper training. I was fine with that because she seemed to like it well enough.

    Fast forward 6 months she has been keeper for at least 1/2 of every game (17) and her playing time on the field has been cut to 15 min. Since she gets so little playing time and spends part of regular practice doing goalie training her improvement has lagged her peers. More importantly she is not enjoying the game anymore (tho she still likes practice). She is very stressed out and has come home crying from the pressure of letting in a goal.

    I have told the coach she isn't enjoying it anymore, does not want to play goalie so much.
    I fear she will burn out/quit and it will be moot anyway. Plus I don't think its fair or natural to ask a 9 yr old to bear this burden the entire time. He feels we made a commitment to the team and is basically asking her to suck it up.

    what do you think?
    U10 is too young to spend half a player's time in goal. Every player on the team should be rotating through the position and keeper training should actually be for the entire team at that age, not just a couple of players.

    You said it yourself, your D doesn't like the game pressure of keeper and her technical skills and field awareness are now lagging because of the split. Tell the coach he needs to make a change or leave the team and find one that is a better fit developmentally.

    I hate to rehash this in post after post, but a focus on winning games at U10 is anti-development and that is why your D is stuck playing goal... it is easier to win games at younger ages with players stuck in positions that they are good at, or at least not bad at.

    Comment


      #3
      Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
      I am normally a firm believer in letting the coaches make their decisions w/o interference. If they bench my DD so be it, if they decide she should be defense vs striker, or whatever so be it. But I find myself having to interfere and wondering how far I should go.

      DD has just turned 9 and is playing u10 club soccer on a B team. We have the same coach as last year and roughly the same team makeup. Last year seemed mostly about development and fun.

      This year after tryouts he said DD had potential for multiple positions and one of those was keeper. He wanted her to be one of his 3 main keepers and wanted her to do some keeper training. I was fine with that because she seemed to like it well enough.

      Fast forward 6 months she has been keeper for at least 1/2 of every game (17) and her playing time on the field has been cut to 15 min. Since she gets so little playing time and spends part of regular practice doing goalie training her improvement has lagged her peers. More importantly she is not enjoying the game anymore (tho she still likes practice). She is very stressed out and has come home crying from the pressure of letting in a goal.

      I have told the coach she isn't enjoying it anymore, does not want to play goalie so much.
      I fear she will burn out/quit and it will be moot anyway. Plus I don't think its fair or natural to ask a 9 yr old to bear this burden the entire time. He feels we made a commitment to the team and is basically asking her to suck it up.

      what do you think?
      Your kid's coached killed her soccer future for the sake of not losing games. As the paying customer, you had both the opportunity and responsibility to prevent this, but my guess is that you mistakenly deferred to the so-called expertise of your club and coach.

      I suppose she could give lacrosse or field hockey a try.

      Comment


        #4
        Good of the team?? Are you kidding me?? Club soccer has no "teams", just loosely confederated mercenaries. The sooner parents figure this out the better everyone will be.

        Comment


          #5
          Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
          U10 is too young to spend half a player's time in goal. Every player on the team should be rotating through the position and keeper training should actually be for the entire team at that age, not just a couple of players.

          You said it yourself, your D doesn't like the game pressure of keeper and her technical skills and field awareness are now lagging because of the split. Tell the coach he needs to make a change or leave the team and find one that is a better fit developmentally.

          I hate to rehash this in post after post, but a focus on winning games at U10 is anti-development and that is why your D is stuck playing goal... it is easier to win games at younger ages with players stuck in positions that they are good at, or at least not bad at.
          Good post. Unfortunately very few coaches or clubs take that view with rotating players, especially in the GK position. They're relieved when they have a kid willing to play the spot and the poor kid (or sometimes two) gets stuck in there game after game. Flash forward 18 months from now and at least one of them hates the position and has lost tons of development time on the field, like the op's player. At some point a GK needs to make a choice between being in net or on the field but not yet. Pigeon holing kids that young is terrible coaching.

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
            Your kid's coached killed her soccer future for the sake of not losing games. As the paying customer, you had both the opportunity and responsibility to prevent this, but my guess is that you mistakenly deferred to the so-called expertise of your club and coach.

            I suppose she could give lacrosse or field hockey a try.
            Thread op please ignore this post. Its not only inaccurate but also not even funny

            Comment


              #7
              Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
              Thread op please ignore this post. Its not only inaccurate but also not even funny
              I wasn't trying to be funny. The coach is an *******, the worst of the worst...but it would be a mistake to suggest the parent has no culpability.

              Comment


                #8
                Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                Good post. Unfortunately very few coaches or clubs take that view with rotating players, especially in the GK position. They're relieved when they have a kid willing to play the spot and the poor kid (or sometimes two) gets stuck in there game after game. Flash forward 18 months from now and at least one of them hates the position and has lost tons of development time on the field, like the op's player. At some point a GK needs to make a choice between being in net or on the field but not yet. Pigeon holing kids that young is terrible coaching.
                And why do coaches gets away with it?

                Uninformed parents, often complacent to remain uninformed based on positive results for the team.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                  Good of the team?? Are you kidding me?? Club soccer has no "teams", just loosely confederated mercenaries. The sooner parents figure this out the better everyone will be.
                  Bingo. If your measure if how the team is performing without much attention to how much your kid is improving, you -- the parent -- are the most culpable on a list of other adults in this system failing too many children putting in the effort and playing a game.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                    Good post. Unfortunately very few coaches or clubs take that view with rotating players, especially in the GK position. They're relieved when they have a kid willing to play the spot and the poor kid (or sometimes two) gets stuck in there game after game. Flash forward 18 months from now and at least one of them hates the position and has lost tons of development time on the field, like the op's player. At some point a GK needs to make a choice between being in net or on the field but not yet. Pigeon holing kids that young is terrible coaching.
                    Wrong, out of date, stupid post.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                      I wasn't trying to be funny. The coach is an *******, the worst of the worst...but it would be a mistake to suggest the parent has no culpability.
                      Unfortunately in a Pay2play, hypercompetitive, overly-specialized world, the poor parents aren't equipped to understand what is happening until it is too late. Maybe the OP has another younger child he can better guide through the process.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                        I am normally a firm believer in letting the coaches make their decisions w/o interference. If they bench my DD so be it, if they decide she should be defense vs striker, or whatever so be it. But I find myself having to interfere and wondering how far I should go.

                        DD has just turned 9 and is playing u10 club soccer on a B team. We have the same coach as last year and roughly the same team makeup. Last year seemed mostly about development and fun.

                        This year after tryouts he said DD had potential for multiple positions and one of those was keeper. He wanted her to be one of his 3 main keepers and wanted her to do some keeper training. I was fine with that because she seemed to like it well enough.

                        Fast forward 6 months she has been keeper for at least 1/2 of every game (17) and her playing time on the field has been cut to 15 min. Since she gets so little playing time and spends part of regular practice doing goalie training her improvement has lagged her peers. More importantly she is not enjoying the game anymore (tho she still likes practice). She is very stressed out and has come home crying from the pressure of letting in a goal.

                        I have told the coach she isn't enjoying it anymore, does not want to play goalie so much.
                        I fear she will burn out/quit and it will be moot anyway. Plus I don't think its fair or natural to ask a 9 yr old to bear this burden the entire time. He feels we made a commitment to the team and is basically asking her to suck it up.

                        what do you think?
                        What part of the equation are you failing to understand? Your coach in a rather polite way told you with their actions that your daughter doesn't have a lot of upside as a field player so they helped her to a position that they think may be more suitable for her. Is that so wrong? The thing is you seem to be faulting the coach for determining that your kid is not going to be that good of a field player. What if they are correct? Don't know what you are complaining about in any event, at U9 the games are only, what 45-50 minutes and your kid is playing more than 75% of the minutes. What are you expecting here? Have you ever considered that this move might just prolong your daughter's participation in soccer a few more years? Are you expecting a scholarship or are you just looking for your kid to have some fun playing a sport? As the parent of two GK's I can tell you that if your daughter is freaking out because she let up a goal its probably because you are making a big deal about it. Goals happen. True GK's learn that and learn to focus on their reaction to the shot, not whether or not the ball ended up in the back of the net. After all there are a bunch of other players on the field that the ball had to get past first in order for it to go in. Basic message is control what you can control.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                          Unfortunately in a Pay2play, hypercompetitive, overly-specialized world, the poor parents aren't equipped to understand what is happening until it is too late. Maybe the OP has another younger child he can better guide through the process.

                          When it doubt...always go for the Pay2play...certain to get you some votes.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                            When it doubt...always go for the Pay2play...certain to get you some votes.
                            Why don't you go watch "Angela's Ashes" and then come back to sermonize how unfair the world is.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                              Why don't you go watch "Angela's Ashes" and then come back to sermonize how unfair the world is.
                              I have. Boy...alcoholism sure does have an impact on family.

                              Point?

                              Comment

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